…what matters isn’t who said it first, it’s that the truth took root.
One time, I suggested to my wife that she was carrying too much at work and needed to let something go. She brushed it off with a confident, “I’ve got it handled.” Days later, she came home from coffee with a friend and said, “You know, I think I need to scale back.” My first instinct was to roll my eyes. Really? You’ll listen to them but not me?
But then I thought about all the times she’s told me to stop checking emails after dinner, and I only took it seriously once I heard the same advice on a leadership podcast. Ouch. I’m guilty of the very thing I get frustrated at her for doing.
growth doesn’t depend on who gets the credit
That’s where Scripture has a way of checking my heart. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 3:6 ESV, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.” He wasn’t talking about marriage specifically, but about ministry and spiritual fruit. Still, the principle translates beautifully: growth doesn’t depend on who gets the credit. God can use different voices to speak the same truth, and the result is still His work.
In marriage, it’s easy to slip into competition, whose voice carries more weight, who gets to be right. But the truth is, pride seeks credit, while love seeks growth. The win is not that she listens to me, but that together we’re moving toward what’s wise and true.
Sometimes that truth lands better when it comes through a different voice, and that’s okay. God surrounds us with community, friends, sermons, books, and conversations for a reason. My role as a husband isn’t to be the only voice, but to celebrate when the truth takes root, however it arrives.
Now, when my wife “gets it” from someone else, I thank God. Because what matters isn’t who said it first, it’s that the truth took root.
…just a thought.
