This post is part of a short series called “Love & Respect; More Than a Cycle,” reflecting on lessons we learned years ago in our Marrieds Small Group while going through Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book Love & Respect. These aren’t chapter summaries, but reflections on how the ideas have shaped my perspective on marriage.
Not every marriage is in crisis. Many are steady, faithful, quietly moving through the rhythms of life. But even in a healthy marriage, love and respect can start to feel like a phone battery running low, not gone, just drained.
The main point of Love & Respect stuck with me: husbands and wives both need what God has designed into the relationship, love for her, respect for him. It’s not about creating something new; it’s about nurturing what’s already there.
Paul says in Ephesians 5:33: “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Notice, he doesn’t say “manufacture love and respect.” It’s already present, it’s part of the covenant. The challenge is keeping it energized.
So how do we recharge what’s already built in?
- Speak gratitude out loud. Don’t just think it, say it. A simple “thank you for working so hard” can breathe life back into the day.
- Listen without rushing to respond. Sometimes respect is felt most when your spouse knows their words matter to you.
- Share spiritual rhythms. Pray together, read Scripture, worship. It connects you in ways no activity can.
- Prioritize joy. Laughter, date nights, even inside jokes, these things are fuel.
What I realized back then, and still need reminding of today, is that we don’t need to reinvent our marriage; we just need to keep it plugged into its power source. The love and respect God already placed there can be re-energized daily with small, intentional choices.
…just a thought.
